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literature
The Toughest Times
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Literature Text
I remember
The toughest times
Though they never did exist
I lay down
alive yet dead
A theater, empty all except
The people
I most wanted
To change my life and save me.
I lay on a cold steel table,
And my lover stood
Her hand wrapped around
The single object that determined my life.
As she gazed upon my heart
And I bled not from
Her incision, though
It certainly would leave the longest of scars.
I forget
The toughest times
As though they did once exist
I lay down
My insides dead
A theater, watching, all except
The people
I most wanted
To change my life and save me.
I lay on a cold steel table,
And I fantasized
About a bed, alone
At 3:00 AM I wished for an other life.
As she heard the song my mind
Sung not from
My reality,
But from the life I dreamed I lived with her.
It scares me
That I was stuck
Under the knife of a girl
I wish now
Was someone else -
One who'd hold me, nursing, but not
At any point
Would she dream of
Holding a knife over me.
Because when I'm dying,
And my last chance at life
Is in a person's hands,
I don't want my lover
To be strong enough
To catch my fall, as
At the point where this,
My death wouldn't just
Tear their life apart,
We didn't become
One, and at that point,
We can't ever fin-
The toughest times
Though they never did exist
I lay down
alive yet dead
A theater, empty all except
The people
I most wanted
To change my life and save me.
I lay on a cold steel table,
And my lover stood
Her hand wrapped around
The single object that determined my life.
As she gazed upon my heart
And I bled not from
Her incision, though
It certainly would leave the longest of scars.
I forget
The toughest times
As though they did once exist
I lay down
My insides dead
A theater, watching, all except
The people
I most wanted
To change my life and save me.
I lay on a cold steel table,
And I fantasized
About a bed, alone
At 3:00 AM I wished for an other life.
As she heard the song my mind
Sung not from
My reality,
But from the life I dreamed I lived with her.
It scares me
That I was stuck
Under the knife of a girl
I wish now
Was someone else -
One who'd hold me, nursing, but not
At any point
Would she dream of
Holding a knife over me.
Because when I'm dying,
And my last chance at life
Is in a person's hands,
I don't want my lover
To be strong enough
To catch my fall, as
At the point where this,
My death wouldn't just
Tear their life apart,
We didn't become
One, and at that point,
We can't ever fin-
Sometimes the toughest times leave you with abrupt endings. Who would you want to be the one holding the knife; do you trust the people you love to be calm and stable enough to succeed in saving you, regardless of their qualification, or do you imagine that your being entwined with those people would cause them to be too scared to ever be the one to save you?
What about if we're not talking about on a death bed? An image comes to mind of a fifteen year old girl in pink scrubs trying to save her boyfriend who's lost his most precious ability and can no-longer live by CPR - not an intentional nurse fantasy joke by the way, but isn't that another angle to look at this at? What's with guys and nurses? I mean I understand that they're stereotypically more often female than doctors or whatever, but why the whole medical profession thing? Because these people can save you, because they hold your life in their hands and they are powerful. They allow the man to stop for a minute and just relax, and the idea of someone who knows how to help the body relax and knows how to deal with helping people through impossibly bad times is a nice one.
Sure, that isn't to say that women don't also like powerful partners - strong men who'll protect her or people who'll give her everything she wants and needs, or someone who can fight for a simple life where they can do what they want. Women like doctors too - intelligent men who can take care of them and also can support their dreams financially. Both genders wish for a powerful partner to help them - someone strong and supportive who'll fix your problems.
Just a thought, I suppose.
What about if we're not talking about on a death bed? An image comes to mind of a fifteen year old girl in pink scrubs trying to save her boyfriend who's lost his most precious ability and can no-longer live by CPR - not an intentional nurse fantasy joke by the way, but isn't that another angle to look at this at? What's with guys and nurses? I mean I understand that they're stereotypically more often female than doctors or whatever, but why the whole medical profession thing? Because these people can save you, because they hold your life in their hands and they are powerful. They allow the man to stop for a minute and just relax, and the idea of someone who knows how to help the body relax and knows how to deal with helping people through impossibly bad times is a nice one.
Sure, that isn't to say that women don't also like powerful partners - strong men who'll protect her or people who'll give her everything she wants and needs, or someone who can fight for a simple life where they can do what they want. Women like doctors too - intelligent men who can take care of them and also can support their dreams financially. Both genders wish for a powerful partner to help them - someone strong and supportive who'll fix your problems.
Just a thought, I suppose.
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